Men, women, and respect
I didn’t plan on writing a blog post tonight, but something happened earlier that made me want to rant. Long story short, a guy at school who I’d never talked to in person (who I know through friends) added me on Facebook, started a chat, then wanted to move it to Snapchat. From previous experience, I knew exactly where this was going.
The guy ended up wanting to play 20 Questions (the dirty version, of course) and I went along with it thinking I would just deflect his questions with witty responses.
Right away, he asked me what my pubic hair looked like (the classic “shaved or natural” question.) Even after giving him non-serious answers, he wanted me to show him what I looked like “down there.” After I told him off and basically told him what an idiot he was being, he went in defensive mode. “Please don’t tell anyone. Just forget I even asked okay?” over and over again. While I’m not naming any names (I’d like to think I have some class) I still wanted to let people know of my experience.
As a woman, especially being one that uses the Internet an online dating, I have been in this situation more times than I can count. Guy is super boring when it comes to chatting, he decides he wants to move the conversation to something we can send pictures on, and then things get “dirty” from there.
What kind of person thinks it’s okay to send dick pics to someone that never asked; someone they don’t even know? Or to ask women super personal questions. If the guy who was a creep to me would’ve talked to me like a normal person, I would’ve considered going on a date with him. But because he treated me with no respect, I can’t look at him at any sort of dating or even friend option.
People need to realize what women are dealing with online. I told my mother how dating was or even just talking to guys online, and she couldn’t believe how rude people are. She refused to believe anyone would react so badly to a girl just wanting to be friends, or that they would send out unwanted pictures of their penises.
I’m tired of hearing all these stories of guys harassing women. Getting aggressive when they’re rejected, calling us bitches and whores. I wish I knew how to stop this, but it needs to change. Women don’t send their boobs to random guys online. They don’t message them just for sex.
I know this is just a long, organized rant, but I’m so frustrated that it’s so hard to find a decent guy. Not just a “nice guy” but someone that will treat me as a person and not as a vagina and a pair of tits. Something that if they’re nice to it for long enough, they’ll be able to have sex with it. It’s not fair for guys either; I know there’s a lot of good guys out there, but so far the tools are outnumbering them.
To all the good guys out there: speak up. If your friend doesn’t know how to treat a woman, let them know. Don’t put up with their bullshit. There has to be a way to break this cycle. Do it for women, and do it for yourself.
Update: I’ve gotten a LOT of responses from you guy, and most of it has been constructive/positive, so thanks for that. There are just a few things that I wanted to address..
I know that I used the word “classy” in a way that sounded like it shamed other women from personally confronting and telling others about the exact person that was harassing them. I guess when I was writing this I was thinking of “classy” as someone that knew when to fight battles and when not to.
Which leads me to another thing… I HAVE confronted guys before, both in person and to their girlfriends. I’ve talked to a few guys who were flirtatious and tried to be sexual with me but after a little digging I discovered that they had girlfriends, who I promptly messaged on Facebook.
If you have the chance you should speak up. I’m not naming names because I’m still in college, I’m looking for a job.. If accusations caused a lot of drama and ended up damaging my reputation (people accusing me of lying or just stretching things to start shit with a guy), I would feel so stupid. I’m all for women exposing their accusers but in my situation, I just can’t right now.
Another thing that came up is that I should’ve just shut the conversation down before it could get to the gross part. I understand. I know from reading this you’re like “Wow this chick is dumb. She should’ve either said something or blocked the dude.” Call me crazy, but I want to believe that guys are more than just oblivious hormonal sacks of testosterone. I thought maybe he would get the hint and stop being sexual, but he obviously didn’t. Should I stop giving people second chances? I don’t know. I don’t want to become so cynical that I just drop a conversation five minutes in. But until then, I’m just going to keep testing the waters.
