Let’s talk about refugees: we have the capacity for kindness, not Fear

Fear and mistrust are everywhere right now. These twin emotions pervade the U.S. media and create fodder for political talking points. Many people came to a startling awareness of the refugee crisis in early September. The powerful image of a young boy washed onto the shores of Turkey put a heartbreaking face to an ongoing issue. In the wake of the Paris attacks, however, compassion ebbed from the national conversation. This worries me. Let’s talk about refugees.

The refugee crisis is awash in complex political issues, economics, and policies — all areas I am unqualified to critique. Let’s instead focus on my wheelhouse: travel as a purposeful act. Purposeful travel can engender compassion, curiosity, empathy, respect, and deeper understanding. The style of travel I advocate for empowers travelers to make deliberate choices. They look for opportunities to investigate: people, places, cultures, religions, and points of view. And it’s more than the act of visiting these places, but also a way of life that embraces these core tenets.

The recent movement to block refugee resettlement is based on a fear of the unknown. But, not the unknowable. Media portrayals of the situation do us a grave disservice by pitting security against compassion. We can have both. Over dinner last week, a longtime friend shared his tentative support for blocking incoming refugees. I pressed him to explain why he felt this way. In the absence of firsthand experience with Islam, he feared the radical ideologies presented in the media. He admitted that he pulled his opinions from media-inspired fear. But even knowing that, he couldn’t wrestle past it. His follow-up statement changed the tone of the entire conversation.

“Perhaps if I had a single Muslim friend it would be different. Maybe then I would understand their religion instead of fearing it. But I don’t.”

Now this I understand. Fear is a powerful emotion. It’s baked right into us for survival and it furthered the development of our species. In a potentially precarious situation, our brains activate fear responses to err on the side of caution. Better to mistake a stick for a python than die of a snake bite. Even more, evolutionary psychologists believe xenophobia was an adaptive behavior during hunter-gatherer times, when we faced warring tribes and unknown diseases. Today’s world is a different place. It no longer serves our globalized societies to live with an inherent underlying fear of those we don’t understand.

We have a natural predisposition for fear. This predisposition is the very reason we must actively develop a considered awareness of the world around us. Only through awareness can we deconstruct our misplaced fears. This a core reason I advocate for travel. When I took my nieces and nephews to Asia, Central America, and Mexico over the past few years, it was for more than a happy lark. I hoped to trigger within them curiosity and empathy for those they don’t encounter each day.

The refugee crisis — and our reaction to it — goes deeper than politics and far deeper than religion. This is not about terrorism, it’s about people. It’s about our human story. The stories we pull from travel have the power to arrest xenophobia and intolerance before they are nurtured in our own lives. But they have to be consciously sought. We have to confront the myths. We must face heartbreaking stories and hard truths to challenge our fear-based beliefs. By reading refugee stories, we remove the “otherness” of their plight and see a group of people who have suffered. These stories illuminate those who risked their lives in a desperate bid for freedom, dignity, and justice. Read this man’s story and tell me he doesn’t embody the very spirit of what it means to be an American.

Each of us must commit to developing a life filled with empathy, curiosity, and respect. Only then can we find the opportunities to cultivate it in our own lives.

It takes a conscious choice and purposeful action every day. Without that commitment, we instead cultivate what Chimamanda Adichie calls the danger of the single story. My friend believes a single story about a religion with 1.6 billion people spread across the globe. He holds a single story about the refugee crisis — a story created by mainstream media. And lest I paint him in a terrible light, I’ve known him for 18 years and he’s a thoughtful and considerate person. He shared these opinions among friends and he took my ideas seriously in our discussion. This is not the case of an incapacity to understand their plight. Rather, it’s a friend who — like many of us — defaulted into fear and inaction in the face of a complex situation. Fear is the easy emotion; it’s the one acts of terrorism seek to cultivate. It takes far more conscious effort to seek conflicting stories and dissenting ideas that challenge our preconceptions.

Travelers create rich, nuanced stories of the world through the act of leaving their comfort zones. Traveling butts us against our prejudices and preconceptions and forces us to confront assumptions. But it’s not the only solution. Travel is one way to develop a deeper understanding of other people, places, cultures, religions, and points of view. In the absence of the past experiences and friendships that combat a single story, it’s imperative that we bring that knowledge into our lives.

According to the United Nations, 4.3 million Syrians are displaced in neighboring countries. While some European cities have a need for volunteers to handle the influx of refugees, all cities in the world need empathetic and aware citizens. Use these resources, or seek others, to develop a nuanced perspective on the refugee situation. See firsthand accountings of their struggles, hopes, and dreams.

• Humans of New York: HONY went to the Middle East this past fall and documented the refugees awaiting resettlement. Every day I am moved by the stories he shares. I follow on Instagram, and he also posts the stories to Facebook.
• The Worldwide Tribe: They are documenting life in the refugee camps. They fundraise and share stories through their Facebook page.
• IRC: The International Rescue committee has offices in 26 U.S. locations. They use volunteers to help resettle local refugees, and they share updates on Facebook.
• UN Refugee Agency: Their site shares beautiful stories and their Facebook too.

We have the chance to reject the pieces of ourselves whispering out blind fears. I find it incomprehensible to witness the widespread fear of a group of people who have risked their lives in a desperate bid for freedom. All they’re asking for is empathy and a welcome. All I’m asking for is each of us to commit to maintaining a balanced awareness of the situation.

For travelers like myself, I challenge us to look at the values we draw from travel and ask if they are holding true when faced with a difficult situation.

It’s easy to fall on the platitude of begging for compassion, but it’s more than that. I won’t tell another person how they should feel. But we do a grave disservice to others if we have not taken every possible step to understand the situation. It’s our duty to pull our beliefs and actions from considered awareness, rather than visceral fear responses.